Age 17 (2013)
Dear K,
You are now 17. You are almost an adult legally. This is another big year for you. Two big things happen this year. This year in June, Johnny will be found guilty for what he did and will go to prison for a while. You will slightly spiral downwards for a while because life is hard without your superhero. He will not be gone for 20 years. He is only gone for about 5 years. You will be okay. He doesn't kill himself. you will be so scared for him but he is fine. He will write you letters. write him back as soon as possible every time. It's what keeps him going. Break up with Mississippi guy. You two are not right for each other. This is also the year you meet your new friend. His name will be Josh or Goth Man. Just be friends with him. I know you hate being single but just please listen to me. Just be his friend. It will make your life easier. He is a cool guy but you two should never date. It would stress you out and it just wouldn't go good. He is a giant child. You don't need that as a boyfriend. But it would be fine being friends with him.
You are now 17. You are almost an adult legally. This is another big year for you. Two big things happen this year. This year in June, Johnny will be found guilty for what he did and will go to prison for a while. You will slightly spiral downwards for a while because life is hard without your superhero. He will not be gone for 20 years. He is only gone for about 5 years. You will be okay. He doesn't kill himself. you will be so scared for him but he is fine. He will write you letters. write him back as soon as possible every time. It's what keeps him going. Break up with Mississippi guy. You two are not right for each other. This is also the year you meet your new friend. His name will be Josh or Goth Man. Just be friends with him. I know you hate being single but just please listen to me. Just be his friend. It will make your life easier. He is a cool guy but you two should never date. It would stress you out and it just wouldn't go good. He is a giant child. You don't need that as a boyfriend. But it would be fine being friends with him.
Age 18 (2014)
Dear K,
It's a year later now. Johnny has been gone for a few months now. If you listened to me you are single. Knowing your stubborn ass you didn't and are dating Josh. If that's true, break up with him. If you are dating him, your PTSD is probably kicking your ass. You cant even have sex without flashbacks right? Just leave Josh. He will say he is trying to help, and maybe he is. But trust me, he will just make it way worse. He will end up doing a number on your mental health if you stay with him. Also, you don't love him as much as you think you do. This is also gonna be one of your roughest years again. In August, Gammy dies. Yes you read that right. You lose her. It will fucking destroy you. More than you can ever imagine. So you will not need extra problems but keep Josh as a friend because I promise, you will need someone to keep you afloat. Oh also you love Johnny. hey stop rolling your eyes and shaking your head. You do. Stop lying to yourself. I know you are scared you and John won't last through prison. You do. I'm not saying date John right now. Just be single. I promise it will pay off.
Age 21 (2017)
Dear K,
You are now 21 and this is the last letter I will write you. 2017 is the year your life changes for the better. Everything turns around. If you didn't listen to my last two letters and your still with Josh you are very depressed again. You don't realize it but you are. This year changes for the better because this is the year Johnny gets out of prison. He gets out in June. You will wanna cry. It will be like nothing changed. He will be the same big goofy sweetheart he always was. He is different though. He is obviously older. He became institutionalized. He will struggle with being out for a while. Just be there for him. When he gets out, tell him you love him. Like really love him. I promise it's scary as hell but it works out. He won't admit he loves you too for a while but just know he does.In July, he will make you cry. Not in a bad way. I won't go into detail about it so you will still be surprised but he does something and you will cry because he loves you and is so nice to you. In Aug, he will move in with his dad. That is also around the time you will meet one of your new best friends. His name is Wayne. You and him are so alike it's scary. Don't worry about being shy when you meet him. He is just as much as an introvert as you. You will get to know each other better. Eventually over the next year you will start staying over at his house on Saturdays. Those days will be your favorite days. This is when you will become closer to him. You and him will have a lot of late night talks about everything you two have gone through. It will make you feel better. Some of your best memories will be over there.
I can honestly say K, as of when I am writing this, you are truly happy. You still have bad days. That is never gonna change. You have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. You are just gonna have bad days. It's just your life. You know that. But K, you are happy. For the first time in a long time. Maybe since you were 10, you are truly and wholeheartedly happy.
Sincerely,
You from 2019
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