Hi, I'm Josh's most recent ex. I'm sure you have heard about me. I'm sure your probably hate me and think I'm the lowest form of scum based off what he has told you about me. But im gonna be honest. I'm not the things he makes me out to be. I'm not a heartless bitch who just loved hurting him. I'm not a bitch who used him and then threw him away like trash. I loved him. I hated hurting him like I did but I wasn't happy anymore. He just wasn't the one for me anymore. See I have had depression since I was 10 and it's not as sever as it once was but I hate being unhappy because of that l. I have spent far too many days laying in bed feeling like I was a doormat for people to walk all over . I have spent far too many nights crying myself to sleep because no one gave a damn about me or how I feel. I've also been used by people I was dating. I've had my heart broken many time. It wasn't fair to Josh that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I loved him. He seemed like a really sweet guy and I cared deeply for him but no matter how much I didn't wanna see him hurt I wasn't gonna lie to him. I wasn't gonna make myself be miserable just to keep him happy. He deserved to be happy but so did I. I didn't wanna hurt him but there is no good or easy way to leave someone you have been with for 4 years.
Now let's move on from that. Josh is a complicated person. He can't read good nor can he spell. I offered to help him but he has given up on ever being able to do it. There are some things you should know/ that I want to ask of you. 1.He has a rough past. His dad left when he was 4. Don't ask him about his dad. He will probably say he doesn't wanna talk about it. It's a very touchy thing for him. He will tell you about him when he is ready. There is a lot of stuff in his past he will tell you when he trusts you enough. I know all of it but it's not my place to tell you. 2. Josh has a serious temper. I pray you aren't ever on the receiving end of one of his yelling fits. I knew him for 4 years and it was still scary. 3. Be nice to his mama. Evelyn is the sweetest lady you will ever meet. I still adore that woman. I miss her a lot. I know I hurt her when I left so what I am about to say may seem stupid or hypocritical but don't hurt her. You have never felt heartbreak until you see her cry because of you. I would know. 3. I haven't spoken or seen Josh in like 4 months so idk what dogs are there now but Im assuming there is: Lady, Shadow, Daphne, Sophie, Rocky, Anna, Benjamin, Gizmo(if he hasn't passed away) and probably some others. Be nice to them. Those dogs will love you. Me and Josh rescued Anna. Gizmo is old as hell. Do not try to pick him up he will bite you. Lady and Anna will wanna sleep in the bed with you. Especially Lady. She will let you get comfortable and then lay against your legs. Love her. Lay Lay as we always called her is a sweetheart. Anna is too. They all love attention. Shadow can be a dick. He also really loved attention and sitting in your lap. It will get annoying. Sophie is a sweetheart. I always called her Snagle tooth cuz of how her jaw is. Those dogs were my world for 4 years. I love and adore those dogs. I miss them and Josh's mom the most. 5. You will have to do every application for a job for him and his brother. The big words confuse him. 6. Chris isn't all there mentally. He is forever 7 years old mentally. Try to remember that if he ever starts to bug you. I hope you get along with Daniel better than I did.
Lets be serious here. I don't hate you. I'm not jealous of you. I have an amazing boyfriend who treats me amazing and I am very happy. I don't want Josh back. However I still do care about him. I'm not in love with him. But I do love him as a friend. I can't just cut that off. He was in my life for 4 years. I know y'all are engaged now. Him and I were once engaged. I hope it works out for y'all. I hope for your sake Josh learned and grew up a bit after I left. Honestly, if he is the same as when I was with him, he isn't going anywhere in life. He is a 28 year old child. He is never gonna drive. He will never get his permit. He will never have a good paying job. He is gonna fail. He has no drive to do anything. He is all his mom had so he isn't ever gonna leave her. He will never be able to save up money cuz everyone needs money all the time. I hope he has changed but he probably hasn't.
Take care of him and don't break his heart. He can't take another person leaving him. You're stuck with him. For the rest of your life now. I hope you're ok with that. Oh one more thing and this is gonna get personal but it needs to be said. Have sex with him regularly. If he goes too long without getting laid he will cheat on you through messages on Facebook to people. He did it to me twice. So I hope you can have sex regularly and don't get cheated on. I have PTSD so I couldn't. I also hope you don't have anything mentally wrong like depression or ptsd cuz he hates that because he doesn't understand it. Good luck explaining it to him. I tried for 4 years and never got anywhere.
Sincerely,
K.
Now let's move on from that. Josh is a complicated person. He can't read good nor can he spell. I offered to help him but he has given up on ever being able to do it. There are some things you should know/ that I want to ask of you. 1.He has a rough past. His dad left when he was 4. Don't ask him about his dad. He will probably say he doesn't wanna talk about it. It's a very touchy thing for him. He will tell you about him when he is ready. There is a lot of stuff in his past he will tell you when he trusts you enough. I know all of it but it's not my place to tell you. 2. Josh has a serious temper. I pray you aren't ever on the receiving end of one of his yelling fits. I knew him for 4 years and it was still scary. 3. Be nice to his mama. Evelyn is the sweetest lady you will ever meet. I still adore that woman. I miss her a lot. I know I hurt her when I left so what I am about to say may seem stupid or hypocritical but don't hurt her. You have never felt heartbreak until you see her cry because of you. I would know. 3. I haven't spoken or seen Josh in like 4 months so idk what dogs are there now but Im assuming there is: Lady, Shadow, Daphne, Sophie, Rocky, Anna, Benjamin, Gizmo(if he hasn't passed away) and probably some others. Be nice to them. Those dogs will love you. Me and Josh rescued Anna. Gizmo is old as hell. Do not try to pick him up he will bite you. Lady and Anna will wanna sleep in the bed with you. Especially Lady. She will let you get comfortable and then lay against your legs. Love her. Lay Lay as we always called her is a sweetheart. Anna is too. They all love attention. Shadow can be a dick. He also really loved attention and sitting in your lap. It will get annoying. Sophie is a sweetheart. I always called her Snagle tooth cuz of how her jaw is. Those dogs were my world for 4 years. I love and adore those dogs. I miss them and Josh's mom the most. 5. You will have to do every application for a job for him and his brother. The big words confuse him. 6. Chris isn't all there mentally. He is forever 7 years old mentally. Try to remember that if he ever starts to bug you. I hope you get along with Daniel better than I did.
Lets be serious here. I don't hate you. I'm not jealous of you. I have an amazing boyfriend who treats me amazing and I am very happy. I don't want Josh back. However I still do care about him. I'm not in love with him. But I do love him as a friend. I can't just cut that off. He was in my life for 4 years. I know y'all are engaged now. Him and I were once engaged. I hope it works out for y'all. I hope for your sake Josh learned and grew up a bit after I left. Honestly, if he is the same as when I was with him, he isn't going anywhere in life. He is a 28 year old child. He is never gonna drive. He will never get his permit. He will never have a good paying job. He is gonna fail. He has no drive to do anything. He is all his mom had so he isn't ever gonna leave her. He will never be able to save up money cuz everyone needs money all the time. I hope he has changed but he probably hasn't.
Take care of him and don't break his heart. He can't take another person leaving him. You're stuck with him. For the rest of your life now. I hope you're ok with that. Oh one more thing and this is gonna get personal but it needs to be said. Have sex with him regularly. If he goes too long without getting laid he will cheat on you through messages on Facebook to people. He did it to me twice. So I hope you can have sex regularly and don't get cheated on. I have PTSD so I couldn't. I also hope you don't have anything mentally wrong like depression or ptsd cuz he hates that because he doesn't understand it. Good luck explaining it to him. I tried for 4 years and never got anywhere.
Sincerely,
K.
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